Cronicas Bizarras's avatar

Cronicas Bizarras


Chores or work, its all the same.


Esquire has put a lot of movie stars on the cover of the magazine. Tom Hardy is not a movie star. He is not yet a movie star. But we are putting him on the cover because we saw his performance in Locke and because we want to ask if all movie stars now have to be ambassadors or if they can be allowed to unsettle a room like Tom Hardy. But here’s the thing: We asked Hardy to shave his beard first, so that he would be recognizable. And here’s what he said:

"Don’t get me wrong, there is part of me that wants to win an Oscar and wants to be on the front cover of a magazine and all that kind of stuff, but there’s also a part of me that really doesn’t. I’m not the guy you need—I’m not a role model. Don’t look too deep, because after you scratch the surface you are going to find out that I’m normal and I’ve got skeletons in my closet.

"But my intentions are good, and if you want to talk to me about the work, or if you want to work with me on something, then I hope you find that I’m a reliable team player. But you have to be as open and honest about it as I am, because you will be fucking judged, as I’ve been. But let’s have some fun! Some people will hate you, some people will like you, but then most people are completely indifferent about the fuck of my ideas and why the fuck he’s even being talked to. Who the fuck is this guy with the crooked teeth and the beard? He’s fucking ugly. Nobody buys a magazine with a beard on the front.

"So I ain’t shaving my beard for you. To shave my beard off would be to cut my fucking nuts off. You know what I mean? And give them to you to sell—to prove that I am a man. But without them, I am no longer. You sold them! And I am now a lie. Why would I do that? Oh, I’m a serious actor. Yes, I am. I cut my beard off, how do I look?”

So now is the time to answer his question and ours: When you close the magazine, take a look at the photograph of Tom Hardy on the cover. How does he look? Does he look like a movie star—or simply like a bloke with balls and a beard?

From Esquire, May 2014. Photo by Greg Williams in HQ. 

My answer to the last question would be: He looks like Tom Hardy. He’s not like anybody else. :)


"Alright, alright. alright" ekhm, I mean "Time is a flat circle…"

So yeah, “True detective” got me as well. Thanks to russiancohle, who keeps spamming my dash with it, accompanied by variety of McConaughey stuff in general (shhhh, don’t stop ;)).